The Olympics
Well it's Olympics time again...we all know what that means (wierd mascots, even weirder sports.) Anyway, so far looking at www.olympic.org./uk, i've discovered that there are quite a few sports that i'm still trying to figure out how they got into the Olympics.
First Off: Handball: I looked at handball on the aforementioned site and I noticed that it had been an Olympic sport since 1936. A) How the hell did this become an Olympic sport if arm-wrestling didn't? B) How did this sport stay alive since 1936? If I may answer my second question first, I think that Handball has stayed alive mostly becuase of the nerdy little fifth grade gym teachers that insist that it is part of the curriculum of their school. I remember playing handball when I was in fifth grade. My teacher would set up some plastic hockey nets and we would wip the ball as hard as we could towards girls we liked hoping that they would in turn love us. God only knows if that worked. To answer my first question I referred to www.armwrestling.com to make sure I wouldn't make a fool of myself. I probably will anyway. I couldn't find much on the site to see if Arm-Wrestling was going to be an olympic sport, but I did find out that the most attented Arm-Wrestling tournament in the U.S. of A. is The Budwiser Kansas State Arm-Wrestling Contest. Of course it's sponsored by a beer.
Second Off: Shooting: An Olympic sport since 1896. Even longer than Handball...wow. Anyway I don't really see the physical test of pointing a gun at a "bulls eye the size of the full stop at the end of this sentence." (www.olympic.org/uk) I mean, is there anyway that someone can possibly train their eyes? I know it's possible in Arm-Wrestling to train your forearms and you biceps and such. But come on, can one really train their eyes? One thing for sure, it would be an interesting scene in an ophthamolgist's office if some skinny little redneck came in and asked if it was possible to train your eyes to have muscles the size of The Governator's arms.
Last Off (becuse i'm typing on my girlfriends keyboard and it's annoying because it's smaller than mine and my fingers keep tripping them selves up. Rest assured i'll post more later.) Table-Tennis: Table tennis has been an Olympic sport since 1988. Holy cow even less than Handball! Anyway, I remember watching a movie in seventh grade gym class that showed the non-believers (me) that Ping-Pong is a sport. I was almost convinced when I saw a big fat white guy from someplace like Nevada go up against the current world champ of the time, some tiny little chinese guy whose name I can't even type let alone pronounce, I was almost convinced because when I saw these two people from completley different reigons I thought to myself "wow what a diverse sport." Little did I know that that didn't matter at all in the Olympics. Because when these guys played out their first point, they literally hit about...three shots and then one guy got an over head. Then the other guy started slamming the ball down and just driving the other guy back and back and back untill he was literally jumping in and out of the boundries (some padded walls about the height of ones knee) and then running back in and hitting the ball again. I thought to myself then, "THESE GUYS ARE MORONS! ALL THEY DO IS SMASH THE HELL OUT OF THIS BALL WHEN ONE DUDE (I was in seventh grade here...) COULD HAVE AS EAISLY JUST HIT THE BALL TO THE SIDE!!!! I really hate these stupid so called "sports."
Well that's all for now all you people in Blogdom...I hope that you enjoyed my sadly cut short rant about sports-that-won't-be-remembered-in-fifteen-years kind of sports. Jeez lousie...I hope the commissioner of ping-pong doesn't take offense to this. Last thing the U.S of A. needs is another war.
First Off: Handball: I looked at handball on the aforementioned site and I noticed that it had been an Olympic sport since 1936. A) How the hell did this become an Olympic sport if arm-wrestling didn't? B) How did this sport stay alive since 1936? If I may answer my second question first, I think that Handball has stayed alive mostly becuase of the nerdy little fifth grade gym teachers that insist that it is part of the curriculum of their school. I remember playing handball when I was in fifth grade. My teacher would set up some plastic hockey nets and we would wip the ball as hard as we could towards girls we liked hoping that they would in turn love us. God only knows if that worked. To answer my first question I referred to www.armwrestling.com to make sure I wouldn't make a fool of myself. I probably will anyway. I couldn't find much on the site to see if Arm-Wrestling was going to be an olympic sport, but I did find out that the most attented Arm-Wrestling tournament in the U.S. of A. is The Budwiser Kansas State Arm-Wrestling Contest. Of course it's sponsored by a beer.
Second Off: Shooting: An Olympic sport since 1896. Even longer than Handball...wow. Anyway I don't really see the physical test of pointing a gun at a "bulls eye the size of the full stop at the end of this sentence." (www.olympic.org/uk) I mean, is there anyway that someone can possibly train their eyes? I know it's possible in Arm-Wrestling to train your forearms and you biceps and such. But come on, can one really train their eyes? One thing for sure, it would be an interesting scene in an ophthamolgist's office if some skinny little redneck came in and asked if it was possible to train your eyes to have muscles the size of The Governator's arms.
Last Off (becuse i'm typing on my girlfriends keyboard and it's annoying because it's smaller than mine and my fingers keep tripping them selves up. Rest assured i'll post more later.) Table-Tennis: Table tennis has been an Olympic sport since 1988. Holy cow even less than Handball! Anyway, I remember watching a movie in seventh grade gym class that showed the non-believers (me) that Ping-Pong is a sport. I was almost convinced when I saw a big fat white guy from someplace like Nevada go up against the current world champ of the time, some tiny little chinese guy whose name I can't even type let alone pronounce, I was almost convinced because when I saw these two people from completley different reigons I thought to myself "wow what a diverse sport." Little did I know that that didn't matter at all in the Olympics. Because when these guys played out their first point, they literally hit about...three shots and then one guy got an over head. Then the other guy started slamming the ball down and just driving the other guy back and back and back untill he was literally jumping in and out of the boundries (some padded walls about the height of ones knee) and then running back in and hitting the ball again. I thought to myself then, "THESE GUYS ARE MORONS! ALL THEY DO IS SMASH THE HELL OUT OF THIS BALL WHEN ONE DUDE (I was in seventh grade here...) COULD HAVE AS EAISLY JUST HIT THE BALL TO THE SIDE!!!! I really hate these stupid so called "sports."
Well that's all for now all you people in Blogdom...I hope that you enjoyed my sadly cut short rant about sports-that-won't-be-remembered-in-fifteen-years kind of sports. Jeez lousie...I hope the commissioner of ping-pong doesn't take offense to this. Last thing the U.S of A. needs is another war.
posted by nervchild at 3:12 PM
2 Comments:
You know what I noticed when I watched last night? Three hours of television coverage and NO WOMEN'S SPORTS? We watched Bode not get a medal; we watched Ohno not get a medal; we watched the Flying Tomato get a medal. But the only women's sport was an Ode to the Career Ending Groin Injury of Michelle.
You forgot Curling, you know, the sport that brought anality to the Olympics.
I think the true objective is to see who can make the floor more immaculate than the guy before you.
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